845PM. Actually a lot do ask that question especially those "weird ones" and those who obviously don't have a life. The question is: why do you care whether she is married or not? What business is it of yours?
This is the reason why i vow not to have children of my own. I did not grow up in a happy home. I was verbally, emotionally and physically abused by my own mother. Those hurtful words are still running in my head and no matter how i tried to forget those hurtful memories, life has its cunning way of triggering it all over again and it is still very painful. I wish that all future parents will come to a reflection that a child did not choose to be born, so whatever pain you guys earned from the past, do not pass them down to your children.
1:45 I also grew up in a very toxic, iron-fisted environment. Among us siblings, I'd say I had received the most physical, emotional, and verbal abuse because the most were expected from me. But when we all grew up as adults, none of us had any resentments towards our parents, especially our mom who was the more abusive parent since she's the hands-on housewife/mom. We actually spoil our mom and shower her with affection now that she's older and widowed. But we all agreed to treat our kids differently from how we were raised. My mom in the beginning was weirded out why we wouldn't "discipline" our kids (we do, not just her way of disciplining) and treat them as friends (and sometimes enemies too haha). But now, she treats our kids our way already. When we were young, it was even awkward for us to greet each other a happy birthday, but now, we say we love each other as often as we could.
This doesn't mean that our experience didn't leave any marks. In fact, I do have anger management issues that sometimes I'd just last out at my husband and/or kids. It would normally be a short outburst, though, because then I'd catch myself. It's so hard to control that "inner me" :(( I'm just fortunate that my husband is very understanding and so are my kids. Sadly, but luckily for me, my kids have learned to adjust to me. I'm trying my best that I don't affect them badly, but sometimes I feel like I'm still not doing enough :((
I’ve had the same experience as with all of you. I even entered parenthood out of obligation. Ironically, my healing began when I became a mother. It was the last thing I expected to help me get unstuck with issues from having absentee parents.
For me naman, I didn’t grow up in an abusive family, actually from the outside it looks like a loving and perfect family. I mean, my needs are met naman pero at the same time, it feels burdensome, hindi ko alam pano ieexplain. Basta parang dahil lang sa obligation or responsibility. Growing up I had to witness marital problems, that now I don’t believe in marriage. I mean my parents didn’t separate, but I almost wished they just did, kesa nagstay sa toxic relationship. Ngayon ok naman na sila since old age na din, and it’s good to have companionship like that. Pero in turn, I also ended up being scared to let go of my long term relationship even though hindi na healthy. My parents are emotionally unavailable when I needed them before so I had to fend for myself and realized now that I developed childhood trauma and anxiety. They didn’t teach me a lot of things that are crucial to life, so had to learn things on my own. Money matters wise, because of the family culture in the Philippines, they also support their other family members, so I have firsthand experience when they don’t prioritize me and our family, and I didn’t understand that as a kid and now. I mean when you decide to start a family, focus on your own family.
So ayun, marami pa, pero considering what I had to go through (hindi pa yan malala compared to others), and with my current state now, mentally, emotionally, financially, etc, I don’t think I’m well suited to be a parent. Being a parent entails a big responsibility, I think yung whole life mo will have to change, for you to raise a happy well-loved kid. Hindi pwedeng magaanak ka lang kasi you want to, or dictated by society, you are responsible for shaping that child’s life.
I agree with you 100% on this. Same po tayo. Yung trauma ko from my parents especially from my father, ayaw ko ipasa sa magiging anak ko. Kaya happy nako with my pets.
Gets na? Eh bakit ang dami paring kumu-question?! Hindi porket alam mo na eh alam na ng lahat. Do not represent the majority dahil hindi siya ganon. At kung maka sabi ka akala mo kasalanan pa niya!
Gets ba talaga ng tao? Paulit ulit niya sinasabi kasi paulit ulit din nag tatanong mga tao! That question may seem normal for some people, but it could be very intrusive for others. Konting sensitivity naman hindi puro pag ka marites ang inaatupag!
Exactly : @6:35. I mean, gets naman naten na wala na sila ng asawa nya. And having a baby is really NOT her priority. So uulitin ko ang tanong dahil paulit ulit ang mga snowflakes : Kailangan ba sagutin lahat ng tanong na ganyan?
I 100% agree on her sentiments. Some women are not meant to be mothers. Some chose not to, and that’s okay. And for those who are completely happy being a mom, that’s totally awesome. But it is very awkward to ask childless women when will they have a kid. Ikaw ba magpapalaki?!
Kapag ako tinatanong kung kailan magkaka-anak. Ang lagi kong sagot: 'Naku, magastos kasi magpa-aral hanggang college'. Madalas natatameme iyon nagtatanong.
go gurl! normalize nalang ang gantong pagsagot, kase natural order na rin yung tanungin ang kelan magkaanak pagnagasawa na... kesa magmaktol na paulit ulit yung mga awkward na tanong :)
Hi 3:19, I'm not 2:20 po pero andaming factors kasi. Pls pardon me for interrupting. Here in Filipino society, the children still live in the family home until adulthood. Yung iba nga hindi na bumubukod. Kayang mag-asawa with bonggang pre-nup photos and wedding, kaya bumili ng kotse and latest gadgets, pero di kaya mag save up for their own house. Nakikitira pa rin sa parents or inlaws. Sorry pero andami kong kilalang ganito. There was a similar comment before here sa FP na parent sya and she said she will continue helping her anak (through adulthood) sa finances if needed.
Pag nag anak ka sa Pilipinas, hindi natatapos ang obligasyon mo hanggang college. Hanggang pagtanda. Kaya agree ako sa Western countries na at the age of 18, you should move out of the family home - learn how to be an adult and be independent, look for a job whether you studied in Uni or not, wag na maging pabigat sa family. But we all know Developing country lang ang Philippines and it's not applicable here.
Totoo to. Especially yun part na d ka pa sure if you like kids, but you have them anyway because you feel that is what is expected of you. Kawawa ang mga anak ko, i try my best pero mahirap. Matinding internal struggle talaga. Sana may ganito ng awareness dati. So kudos to maxene for sharing this
Pag nagkaanak (even out of wedlock) feeling blessed. Pag di magkaAnak, choice. These celebrity girls should encourage responsible parenting hindi yung mageEncourage pa na wag magAnak at ijaJustify pa. Dami nio dada. Hindi nyo kasi accept sarili nio, kaya you blame it to other people na kesyo kinukulit kayo sa issue na yan. Accept yourself, u dont need to explain it to other people.
Lol dapat naman talaga iencourage na wag na masyadong mag anak eh. dami na nangyayari sa mundo, lalo na diyan sa Pinas, would you want your children to live in an ugly environment? no thanks
Hindi ba pag aaccept ang ginagawa nila maxene? Kung hindi para sakanya yung motherhood eh di hindi para sakanya, un ung punto nya. Madami ding celebs na inembrece ang motherhood kahit di kasal. Wala naman dapat talagang opinion ang ibang tao sa desisyon nya. Ikaw po ata ung malabo.
These questions are valid. I believe concern lang naman yung commenter. From my experience, I always ask my niece when she's having a baby and keep reminding her to have a baby hangga't bata pa. Feeling nya nanghihimasok ako when in fact ayoko lang naman tumanda sya na walang mag support sa kanya. Iba parin pag may sandalan ka pagdating ng araw.
Oh no 3:17. We are not our children’s responsibility. We are never anyone’s responsibility. We are even responsible ourselves for our retirement years. If our children take their time to be with us, that is a huge, huge blessing. If not, that is our fate that we must accept. But we don’t have children just because we want someone - anyone - to support us in any way. I’ve repeatedly told my children to live their best lives and that me and their dad will be okay just seeing them do so.
Omg ka haha see this is why Maxene had to explain herself to remind people like you that it’s not your business to meddle. Kids are not life insurance policies and definitely not an investment with expected ROI.
Hindi rin dapat ginagawang fallback ang mga anak. The choice to have kids should not be because sila ang mag aalaga sa iyo when you get older or sila ang mag aahon sa pamilya pagtanda nila.
Hindi po sandalan ang mga anak/bata. Let them do it out of their own love and decision. Hindi yung di pa nga napapanganak, ginawa nang retirement plan…
Pag tanda mo, maiisip mo rin yan. Sana marami kang kaibigan na maghuhugas ng pwet mo or marami kang pera magbabayad sa caregiver para magbigay ng Oras sayo. Ikaw ang mapait, ang mundo ginawa para I enjoy at mag mahal. Ang magulang at anak nagmamahalan. Pero Sabagay kung ang mismong mga anak at magulang mapapait both dapat wag na nga. Pero yung mga pakialamera lang sa mga gustong sumaya na May anak at nagmamahal, wag na kayo sumali. You don’t deserve such conversation dahil Di kayo marunong magshare ng pagmamahal.
hay naku aunty, do you really care about your niece or are you anxious that the responsibility of your niece's care will fall on you or you're just so controlling you want everyone's life to be set snd settled they way you want it to? Really look inside yourself, mukhang may anxiety and control issues ka.
03:17 - Napaka backwards ng thinking mo. Typical traditional Filipino mindset that has been long, long practiced ang passed through generations. Pero sa totoo lang, iba na ngayon. Ibang iba na. Yang ganyang pananaw minana mo pa sa kaninu ninuan. Kawawa naman ang anak mo. Kakasilang pa lang may obligasyon na agad. Na balang araw aalagaan ka pag tanda mo. Tapos isusumbat mo ang utang na loob.
You meant well pero how would you feel if other people will keep on insisting you to take a heavy responsibility that you do not want to take? Diba nakakainis at pwede rin ma pressure ka if that person is someone you trust and care bec. she is a relative. Baka kakapilit mo mag anak siya pero she is unhappy.
Jusko, hindi sandalan ang anak! And I say that both as a mother and daughter. I'll take care of my mom pag hirap na sya but I won't expect that from my daughter. Di ako nagka anak para may mag aalaga sa amin noh.
Valid for you, YES! But most people us Hinde agree. Hinde naman Ikaw bumubuhay sa katawan ko. Hinde mo hawak Buhay ko. Hinde Ikaw mag decide sa life ko. It’s me not you! How sure you are mahihirapan yan pamangkin mo magkaanak ha???? Sure ka ba? Hawak mo katawan niya TITA??????? Paki sagot please.. Salamat sa concern ha!
12:38 ganyan naman talaga mga tyahin natin tatanung sayo "kailan kayo magkakaanak?" o kaya "bakit hindi nyo pa sundan?" minsan naman pag buntis ka na "sana babae para may maayusan ako"
Yung mga nagreact siguro hindi rin marunong tumanaw ng utang na loob sa mga tumulong sa kanila. After palakihin, pakainin, bihisan, pag kaya na ang sarili iiwan nalang basta ang lungga. What a shame.
1:08 As much as I love giving back to my parents, hindi nila right na singilin ako sa pagpapalaki nila sa akin. Like how my kid is not obliged to look after me when I get old. Choice nang parents ko to have me and it was our choice to have our kid, he did not choose to be born. Responsibility nang mga magulang ang mga anak nila kaya di dapat iexpect na may ROI pag tanda. I would be thankful if my son would look after us, pero if not that’s also ok.
3:17- Strive to have a retirement fund. Hindi life insurance ang anak. I myself have chosen to forego having a husband and children because I love my freedom and I made sure mayroon akong retirement fund to avail assisted living here abroad. Di ako kawawa dahil mabubuhay pa din ako ng comfortable kahit matanda na.
Buti nalang hindi ko naging anak mga nagcomment dito nakakasuka mga ugali. Tatanda din kayo, kung ano ginagawa nyo sa magulang nyo babalik din sa inyo.
Naku, TITA, wala po utang ang mga anak sa magulang. No child ever asked to be born. If your kids take care of you, be grateful. Nasa pagpapalaki rin yan, if you were loving to your kids then they will find it natural to love you back. Take note, loving is not just giving them food, shelter, and education. That's like so basic, tapos sisingilin mo sa mga junaks later on?
Merong mga ganyan ah - mga couples na nabobore na sa marriage kaya gusto nag-aanak. May nag-advise nga samin na ganyan ng hubby ko pag bored na daw pwede na magkaanak.
Meron nga aso kysa anak to keep them Company. And masaya naman sila. I didn’t ask if gusto nila makaanak ng human baby soon. Kasi Ayoko Una kasi May respeto ako wait na Lang din ako sa announcement nila diba. Ganun kasi ako. Haahha
Mahaba pa ang tatahakin ng mga Pilipino pagdating sa mga ganitong usapin, pero buti nagkakaroon na ng awareness, conversations, and hopefully acceptance ng society.
Life is short to the point na kulang ang lifetime na to sa mga pwede nating gawin. Di lang iisa ang path ng buhay ng tao (in this case, ng mga babae). HINDI IBANG TAO ang magdidikta sayo kung ano ang dapat mong gawin dahil MAGKAKAIBA TAYO ng priority, paniniwala at goals sa buhay. Sa mga taong namimilit, nangpe-pressure at nangmamaliit sa kapwa nila babae: Sa tingin mo, ang klase ng buhay mo ang standard ng lahat?
True! Parang mortal sin ang hindi pagiging ina o hindi magkaanak sa Pilipinas. Some would say a child is a blessing but they should also ask themselves if they are going to be a blessing to their future kids.
I don't wanna have kids cus I want FREEDOM: financial freedom and freedom to travel and do what I want. Kids are sticky and alagain. Not all woman are born to be mothers. I love my life and me and my partner decided to be child free... were here in Paris as I type this and I love this life.
Bes you can still go to Paris with kids. Yang “kids are sticky” mga 4 years lang yan. You can have a career, have a house and keep house, with a baby. You can have it all. Wag gamiting excuse ang travel.
Same here babe! 10 years married na kami ni hubs and I love the freedom that we have! Speaking of Paris, I just came back to UK from there, amazing place and lovely people.
I admire you for having a choice. Pero for me who has been trying but has not conceived, it was a choice not made available for me pero people kept asking kelan as if naman i have control. Sadt
1:03 I respect OPs personal choice. My point is you can still have financial freedom and all sorts of freedom with kids in tow. Hindi ball and chain ang mga bata.
Sana sa lahat ng invasive questions pagisipan muna bago iask!!! Going to family parties is scary for me coz of these questions. "Kailan ka ikakasal? Wala ka nanamang boyfriend? Kailan ka magbababy?" Pangsmall talk siya yes, pero traumatic siya sa receiving end. Pano kung kaya pala walang baby kasi di makabuo. Pano kung walang asawa kasi galing sa abusive relationship? Pano kung kaya walang boyfriend kasi may confidence issue? Or pano kung wala lahat kasi yun yung gusto niya? Yung paisa isang tanong minsan mapapalampas mo pa pero if paulit ulit na tapos gagawin ka pang katatawanan, it scars you.
Gurl/bro.... As a female who babysat 3 litte brothers, became our mother's "little helper," and the house's unofficial maid all before high school, SAME! I want freedom, all of it! I feel like I've had enough of doing childcare to last my whole life, i want to do other things naman. Most importantly, things for me me me. Myself alone. Gusto ko sarili ko lang iniisip ko for the forseable future.
Not 1:16 pero sagutin ko yan 2:48. You can't change people, their mentality or yung insensitive questions nila. I found that out for years. Kaya ako na lang nag adjust. Pag Christmas or may reunion, my husband and I just go out, nood ng sine or just do something leisurely we both enjoy. Painful na yung questions like bakit wala kayong anak etc or yung kuwentuhan about kids, family life. Naisip ko, they can't help it kaya kami na lang nag adjust. We've suffered from infertility, gone into treatments that failed and no one seems to remember that kahit ilang beses pa naming ikuwento. It seems, they still find fault in us. As if we caused our own problem and they were wont to blame or find comparison. Anyways, fast forward, we finally had 2 kids. Eto naman ang sinasabi. Bakit normal ang mga anak mo, despite undergoing treatments while yung anak ni so and so, may diprensiya samantalang normal namang nagbuntis? Hayyysss.....as if we didn't deserve yung kids namin. So you see how toxic some people are including your own friends and family?
Kadiri ung mga nag-comment sa taas na dapat daw mag-anak para may mag-aalaga pagtanda.
Nakakaawa ang mga magiging anak nyo!! Balak nyo lang pala silang gawing mga alipin. May karapatan rin silang mabuhay, libutin ang mundo, at maging masaya.
Ako nga may isang anak na hinde pa din tinitigilan ng tanong. Bkt isa lng anak mo? Bakiy hinde mo dagdagan? Kesyo daw malungkot, walang kapatid, spoiled..?eh ano gagawin ko isa lng lumabas??
I can relate with her. Hindi kakulangan sa isang babae kung hindi sya magkaanak due to infertility issues man or personal choice. Nakatanggap din ako ng mga ganyang insensitive comment. At first, masakit. Pero habang tumatagal natuto na ako na imanage. I accepted that I can't control other people yet somehow I wish people can emphatize more.
It s*cks to read comments above, na galing mismo sa mga kapwa babae mo. No one should be shame for HAVING KIDS and NOT HAVING KIDS. Yes, ladies. Please read that again.
uy akala ko non ako lng ang may gnyang issues samin. malala pa ksi kng kni knino ko nirereto na old but rich pra dw sure ang kinabuksan ko. sagot ko lng..tnk u for your concern tita pro sure nman ako sa kin but tingin ko mas compatible kung kyo ksi mas malapit ang age nyo..
Ako nga sinabihan Sana nag ampon ka na Lang kysa mag alaga ng aso. Wth hell diba? Eh gusto ko mag asawa problema mo ba? Ito nag papasaya sa akin at ito Meron ako malamang sa aso ko mag focus since Wala naman ako HUMAN na anak.
Ahhhh! Mga pakielemera sa Buhay pag sila pake Alam mo galit na galit.
seriously pinoy needs to stop this mentality. masyado nating ninonormalize ang pagkakaroon ng anak considering 3rd world lang naman tayo. kita mo tuloy yung mga mahihirap sa lansangan isang kahig isang tuka marami pang anak. why just be thankful na yung mga ayaw eh hindi nakakadagdag sa overpopulation ng pinas. its kind of cliche pero totoo naman.
Yup, mukhang gusto lang i marites yung status nilang mag asawa kaya kunwari anak isyu yung tinatanong. Ask na din mga baks. Tutal inivade niyo na privacy niya, itodo niyo na pag epal. Kahiya naman sa inyo :)
Maraming bagay na dapat iwasang itanong lalo na sa taong di mo naman ka-close. Tulad ng mga personal na bagay, like, anong trabaho mo, ilang taon ka na, may asawa ka na, ilan na anak mo. Ang taba mo. Nagmature hitsura mo etc.. Madalas itanong yan sa side ko na nasa low class, pero never sa side ng asawa ko na more on nasa middle class.
I was recently diagnosed with a medical condition na never na ako magkaka anak, I didn’t freeze my eggs before because having a child is a decision that needs to be made by the couple. I was not in a healthy relationship at that time and now I’m happily single.
I didn’t tell about it to all my family and friends kasi mas na stress ako sa kanila dealing with them kaysa sa idea na hindi na ako magkaka anak ever.
I still see adoption as an option if I ever I get married and my partner agrees to it. Sa tingin ko deserve ng bata to live in a good home.
Shucks, relate on the part na mas nakakastress pa dealing with people vs the actual issue. They say they just have your best interests in mind, but none of them are caring and attentive enough to actually know your interests. They just impose what they think is best for them. When I think of having kids, the homeless kids also come to mind. From an impersonal and big picture point of view, why make one when there's so many already available and they all deserve a good life.
There are numerous of woman naman na di bet ang babies or di pa ready pero kapag nagkababy nagkakaron ng direksyon ang life for inspiration baga para kumayod. Depende kasi talaga yan sa sitwasyon. I respect girls na di bet mag baby pa and girls na gusto rin ng babies agad agad basta ba kaya buhayin. And also, i get her point dun sa triggering, in all aspects nakakatrigger talaga mga tanong na nakakapressure esp kapag may pinagdadaanan ka, yung tipong lakas makasira ng araw. Those insensitive people.
Question is sila pa ba ng asawa nya paano makakagawa kung walang magpa participate
ReplyDeleteParang may may pinag dadaanan sya. Medyo weird sya.
Deleteexactly why dapat i-call out ang mga insensitive.
Deletewala naman nagtatnong nyan. ang tanong eh kung may asawa pa ba sya
Delete@235PM. what is your point?
Delete845PM. Actually a lot do ask that question especially those "weird ones" and those who obviously don't have a life. The question is: why do you care whether she is married or not? What business is it of yours?
DeleteThis is the reason why i vow not to have children of my own. I did not grow up in a happy home. I was verbally, emotionally and physically abused by my own mother. Those hurtful words are still running in my head and no matter how i tried to forget those hurtful memories, life has its cunning way of triggering it all over again and it is still very painful. I wish that all future parents will come to a reflection that a child did not choose to be born, so whatever pain you guys earned from the past, do not pass them down to your children.
ReplyDelete💔😪 lots of virtual hugs for you baks.
Delete1:45 I also grew up in a very toxic, iron-fisted environment. Among us siblings, I'd say I had received the most physical, emotional, and verbal abuse because the most were expected from me. But when we all grew up as adults, none of us had any resentments towards our parents, especially our mom who was the more abusive parent since she's the hands-on housewife/mom. We actually spoil our mom and shower her with affection now that she's older and widowed. But we all agreed to treat our kids differently from how we were raised. My mom in the beginning was weirded out why we wouldn't "discipline" our kids (we do, not just her way of disciplining) and treat them as friends (and sometimes enemies too haha). But now, she treats our kids our way already. When we were young, it was even awkward for us to greet each other a happy birthday, but now, we say we love each other as often as we could.
DeleteThis doesn't mean that our experience didn't leave any marks. In fact, I do have anger management issues that sometimes I'd just last out at my husband and/or kids. It would normally be a short outburst, though, because then I'd catch myself. It's so hard to control that "inner me" :(( I'm just fortunate that my husband is very understanding and so are my kids. Sadly, but luckily for me, my kids have learned to adjust to me. I'm trying my best that I don't affect them badly, but sometimes I feel like I'm still not doing enough :((
4.04 I can relate to you. I have a daughter and doenst want to get another one
DeleteI’ve had the same experience as with all of you. I even entered parenthood out of obligation. Ironically, my healing began when I became a mother. It was the last thing I expected to help me get unstuck with issues from having absentee parents.
Delete4:04 grabe. Kudos to you! Self awareness is one step towards change. Galing mo! You are blessed! Hugs sis.
DeleteFor me naman, I didn’t grow up in an abusive family, actually from the outside it looks like a loving and perfect family. I mean, my needs are met naman pero at the same time, it feels burdensome, hindi ko alam pano ieexplain. Basta parang dahil lang sa obligation or responsibility.
DeleteGrowing up I had to witness marital problems, that now I don’t believe in marriage. I mean my parents didn’t separate, but I almost wished they just did, kesa nagstay sa toxic relationship. Ngayon ok naman na sila since old age na din, and it’s good to have companionship like that. Pero in turn, I also ended up being scared to let go of my long term relationship even though hindi na healthy. My parents are emotionally unavailable when I needed them before so I had to fend for myself and realized now that I developed childhood trauma and anxiety. They didn’t teach me a lot of things that are crucial to life, so had to learn things on my own. Money matters wise, because of the family culture in the Philippines, they also support their other family members, so I have firsthand experience when they don’t prioritize me and our family, and I didn’t understand that as a kid and now. I mean when you decide to start a family, focus on your own family.
So ayun, marami pa, pero considering what I had to go through (hindi pa yan malala compared to others), and with my current state now, mentally, emotionally, financially, etc, I don’t think I’m well suited to be a parent. Being a parent entails a big responsibility, I think yung whole life mo will have to change, for you to raise a happy well-loved kid. Hindi pwedeng magaanak ka lang kasi you want to, or dictated by society, you are responsible for shaping that child’s life.
I agree with you 100% on this. Same po tayo. Yung trauma ko from my parents especially from my father, ayaw ko ipasa sa magiging anak ko. Kaya happy nako with my pets.
DeleteHow sad baks.. i got u. Irespeto nlang sana nila mga desisyon ng mga. Di nila alam ang backstory
Delete1:45 same here 😪
DeleteVirtual hugs, mga sis! You’re all strong!
DeleteHuy Maxene pang ilang ulit mo na inexplain yan. Ulit ulit talaga? Gets naman na namen lahat.
ReplyDeleteGets na? Eh bakit ang dami paring kumu-question?! Hindi porket alam mo na eh alam na ng lahat. Do not represent the majority dahil hindi siya ganon. At kung maka sabi ka akala mo kasalanan pa niya!
DeleteGets ba talaga ng tao? Paulit ulit niya sinasabi kasi paulit ulit din nag tatanong mga tao! That question may seem normal for some people, but it could be very intrusive for others. Konting sensitivity naman hindi puro pag ka marites ang inaatupag!
DeleteTodo explain sa every post pa relevant masyado
Delete2:32 3:09 ang tanong eh may nagtatanong ba talaga nyan?? o imaginary
DeleteSa comment mo pa.labg obvious na di mo na gets😁😒
Delete6:35 hanggat may katulad mo, relevant talaga sya.
DeleteSnowflakes spotted 6:35 & 2:32 iisa tao ka lang. Your tone and writing construction is the same. Not everything is all about you.
DeleteExactly : @6:35. I mean, gets naman naten na wala na sila ng asawa nya. And having a baby is really NOT her priority. So uulitin ko ang tanong dahil paulit ulit ang mga snowflakes : Kailangan ba sagutin lahat ng tanong na ganyan?
DeleteUu if gusto mu sagutin y not. Pakealam mo ba you are not Maxene HAHA
Delete12:08 basahin mo ulit yung sinabe ni 2:32 and 3:09 maybe kulang ka lang sa comprehension.
DeleteI 100% agree on her sentiments. Some women are not meant to be mothers. Some chose not to, and that’s okay. And for those who are completely happy being a mom, that’s totally awesome. But it is very awkward to ask childless women when will they have a kid. Ikaw ba magpapalaki?!
ReplyDeleteAnd for us who have been trying for more than 18 years, masakit pa din matanong ganito. Kasi its not our choice naman to be infertile.
DeleteKapag ako tinatanong kung kailan magkaka-anak. Ang lagi kong sagot: 'Naku, magastos kasi magpa-aral hanggang college'. Madalas natatameme iyon nagtatanong.
ReplyDeletego gurl! normalize nalang ang gantong pagsagot, kase natural order na rin yung tanungin ang kelan magkaanak pagnagasawa na... kesa magmaktol na paulit ulit yung mga awkward na tanong :)
DeleteKc di nila kaya papagtapusin ng college mga anak nila, puro pagpapadami Lang kc ng anak ang alam nila gawin
Delete2:20 yan lang ba talaga dahilan mo? Oo magastos sa college pero if you have a decent paying job maitatawid mo yan.
Delete3.19 yan ang sagot. paki-intindi yung comment pls.
Delete329 So do I have to be a slave working until I die to provide to my kids?
DeleteHi 3:19, I'm not 2:20 po pero andaming factors kasi. Pls pardon me for interrupting. Here in Filipino society, the children still live in the family home until adulthood. Yung iba nga hindi na bumubukod. Kayang mag-asawa with bonggang pre-nup photos and wedding, kaya bumili ng kotse and latest gadgets, pero di kaya mag save up for their own house. Nakikitira pa rin sa parents or inlaws. Sorry pero andami kong kilalang ganito. There was a similar comment before here sa FP na parent sya and she said she will continue helping her anak (through adulthood) sa finances if needed.
DeletePag nag anak ka sa Pilipinas, hindi natatapos ang obligasyon mo hanggang college. Hanggang pagtanda. Kaya agree ako sa Western countries na at the age of 18, you should move out of the family home - learn how to be an adult and be independent, look for a job whether you studied in Uni or not, wag na maging pabigat sa family. But we all know Developing country lang ang Philippines and it's not applicable here.
We don't want a life na tinatawid lang, for ourselves or a child. We want a thriving and full life for both.
DeleteTrue, bonggang wedding pero wala naman pambili ng bahay.
Delete3.19 Kung paycheck to paycheck ang buhay mo huwag na. Omg grow up!
DeleteTotoo to. Especially yun part na d ka pa sure if you like kids, but you have them anyway because you feel that is what is expected of you. Kawawa ang mga anak ko, i try my best pero mahirap. Matinding internal struggle talaga. Sana may ganito ng awareness dati. So kudos to maxene for sharing this
ReplyDeleteAko wala akong kahilig-hilig sa bata na kapag nakakakita ako ng baby para wala lang.
DeletePag nagkaanak (even out of wedlock) feeling blessed.
ReplyDeletePag di magkaAnak, choice.
These celebrity girls should encourage responsible parenting hindi yung mageEncourage pa na wag magAnak at ijaJustify pa. Dami nio dada. Hindi nyo kasi accept sarili nio, kaya you blame it to other people na kesyo kinukulit kayo sa issue na yan. Accept yourself, u dont need to explain it to other people.
Ha? Ma-accept na ano? Paano kung choice naman talaga.
DeleteLol dapat naman talaga iencourage na wag na masyadong mag anak eh. dami na nangyayari sa mundo, lalo na diyan sa Pinas, would you want your children to live in an ugly environment? no thanks
DeleteHindi ba pag aaccept ang ginagawa nila maxene? Kung hindi para sakanya yung motherhood eh di hindi para sakanya, un ung punto nya. Madami ding celebs na inembrece ang motherhood kahit di kasal. Wala naman dapat talagang opinion ang ibang tao sa desisyon nya. Ikaw po ata ung malabo.
DeleteThese questions are valid. I believe concern lang naman yung commenter. From my experience, I always ask my niece when she's having a baby and keep reminding her to have a baby hangga't bata pa. Feeling nya nanghihimasok ako when in fact ayoko lang naman tumanda sya na walang mag support sa kanya. Iba parin pag may sandalan ka pagdating ng araw.
ReplyDeletePakialamera. Huwag mo ng ipressure ang pamangkin mo. Isa ka pa eh
Deleteeh kung nanghihimasok ka naman tlga eh! tsaka ka maging concern kung siya mismo magsasabi sayo na worried siya!
DeleteOh no 3:17. We are not our children’s responsibility. We are never anyone’s responsibility. We are even responsible ourselves for our retirement years. If our children take their time to be with us, that is a huge, huge blessing. If not, that is our fate that we must accept. But we don’t have children just because we want someone - anyone - to support us in any way. I’ve repeatedly told my children to live their best lives and that me and their dad will be okay just seeing them do so.
DeleteLols bakit mo pinoproblema yun? Leave her alone!
DeleteIt doesn’t matter what your reason is. JUST STOP.
DeleteHINDI. MALING MALI KA. Huwag manganak kung yan lang purpose mo. Educate yourself more regarding this. Respect boundaries.
DeleteSiguro naman po an adult would be able to think for herself and does not reminding. Adult women don't just forget about having children.
DeleteOmg ka haha see this is why Maxene had to explain herself to remind people like you that it’s not your business to meddle. Kids are not life insurance policies and definitely not an investment with expected ROI.
DeleteLol a child is not a retirement plan. I pity your child or children. Traumatized for sure mga yon.
DeleteHindi rin dapat ginagawang fallback ang mga anak. The choice to have kids should not be because sila ang mag aalaga sa iyo when you get older or sila ang mag aahon sa pamilya pagtanda nila.
DeleteHindi po sandalan ang mga anak/bata. Let them do it out of their own love and decision. Hindi yung di pa nga napapanganak, ginawa nang retirement plan…
DeleteHindi po insurance ang mag anak. Hindi guarantee na mag aalaga sila sa pagtanda. Yes po, nanghihimasok kayo. Pls let your niece live her own life.
Delete4:32 hindi pakielamera but a concerned aunty. Sino ba naman ang gustong tumanda mag-isa?
DeletePag tanda mo, maiisip mo rin yan. Sana marami kang kaibigan na maghuhugas ng pwet mo or marami kang pera magbabayad sa caregiver para magbigay ng Oras sayo. Ikaw ang mapait, ang mundo ginawa para I enjoy at mag mahal. Ang magulang at anak nagmamahalan. Pero Sabagay kung ang mismong mga anak at magulang mapapait both dapat wag na nga. Pero yung mga pakialamera lang sa mga gustong sumaya na May anak at nagmamahal, wag na kayo sumali. You don’t deserve such conversation dahil Di kayo marunong magshare ng pagmamahal.
Deletehay naku aunty, do you really care about your niece or are you anxious that the responsibility of your niece's care will fall on you or you're just so controlling you want everyone's life to be set snd settled they way you want it to? Really look inside yourself, mukhang may anxiety and control issues ka.
DeleteTita hwag mo upressure pamangkin mo, lalo yang di magkaka anak kasi nasstress sa.mga katulad mo
Delete"..ayoko lang naman tumanda sya na walang mag support sa kanya.."
DeleteThe most disgusting mindset!
03:17 - Napaka backwards ng thinking mo. Typical traditional Filipino mindset that has been long, long practiced ang passed through generations. Pero sa totoo lang, iba na ngayon. Ibang iba na. Yang ganyang pananaw minana mo pa sa kaninu ninuan. Kawawa naman ang anak mo. Kakasilang pa lang may obligasyon na agad. Na balang araw aalagaan ka pag tanda mo. Tapos isusumbat mo ang utang na loob.
Delete3:17 I’m so thankful you’re not my aunt. :)
DeleteYou meant well pero how would you feel if other people will keep on insisting you to take a heavy responsibility that you do not want to take? Diba nakakainis at pwede rin ma pressure ka if that person is someone you trust and care bec. she is a relative. Baka kakapilit mo mag anak siya pero she is unhappy.
DeleteJusko, hindi sandalan ang anak! And I say that both as a mother and daughter. I'll take care of my mom pag hirap na sya but I won't expect that from my daughter. Di ako nagka anak para may mag aalaga sa amin noh.
DeleteConcern ka pero desisyonerist ka lol. Matres mo ba? Kaw papaaral?
DeleteValid for you, YES! But most people us Hinde agree. Hinde naman Ikaw bumubuhay sa katawan ko. Hinde mo hawak Buhay ko. Hinde Ikaw mag decide sa life ko. It’s me not you! How sure you are mahihirapan yan pamangkin mo magkaanak ha???? Sure ka ba? Hawak mo katawan niya TITA??????? Paki sagot please.. Salamat sa concern ha!
Delete12:38 ganyan naman talaga mga tyahin natin tatanung sayo "kailan kayo magkakaanak?" o kaya "bakit hindi nyo pa sundan?" minsan naman pag buntis ka na "sana babae para may maayusan ako"
DeleteYung mga nagreact siguro hindi rin marunong tumanaw ng utang na loob sa mga tumulong sa kanila. After palakihin, pakainin, bihisan, pag kaya na ang sarili iiwan nalang basta ang lungga. What a shame.
Delete1:08 As much as I love giving back to my parents, hindi nila right na singilin ako sa pagpapalaki nila sa akin. Like how my kid is not obliged to look after me when I get old. Choice nang parents ko to have me and it was our choice to have our kid, he did not choose to be born. Responsibility nang mga magulang ang mga anak nila kaya di dapat iexpect na may ROI pag tanda. I would be thankful if my son would look after us, pero if not that’s also ok.
Delete3:17- Strive to have a retirement fund. Hindi life insurance ang anak. I myself have chosen to forego having a husband and children because I love my freedom and I made sure mayroon akong retirement fund to avail assisted living here abroad. Di ako kawawa dahil mabubuhay pa din ako ng comfortable kahit matanda na.
DeleteButi nalang hindi ko naging anak mga nagcomment dito nakakasuka mga ugali. Tatanda din kayo, kung ano ginagawa nyo sa magulang nyo babalik din sa inyo.
Delete1:08 hindi naman kasi dapat utang na loob yun just in case hindi mo alam.
Delete12.06 nay, respect begets respect. yun lang yun. wag masyadong entitled.
DeleteKadiri ka 3:17. Pakielamera!
DeleteNaku, TITA, wala po utang ang mga anak sa magulang. No child ever asked to be born. If your kids take care of you, be grateful. Nasa pagpapalaki rin yan, if you were loving to your kids then they will find it natural to love you back. Take note, loving is not just giving them food, shelter, and education. That's like so basic, tapos sisingilin mo sa mga junaks later on?
DeleteOkay na sana pero she said “are you just bored?” GIRL
ReplyDeleteLol. Awkward nga nung are you just bored
DeleteMerong mga ganyan ah - mga couples na nabobore na sa marriage kaya gusto nag-aanak. May nag-advise nga samin na ganyan ng hubby ko pag bored na daw pwede na magkaanak.
DeleteI know some housewives who are just bored so they have kids to keep themselves busy 🤷🏻♀️
Delete8:33 I AGREE! Super true!
DeleteMeron nga aso kysa anak to keep them
DeleteCompany. And masaya naman sila. I didn’t ask if gusto nila makaanak ng human baby soon. Kasi Ayoko Una kasi May respeto ako wait na Lang din ako sa announcement nila diba. Ganun kasi ako. Haahha
Mema lang, wala naman nagtatanong. Ang gusto malaman ng tao ay kung sila pa din ng husband nya o hindi.
ReplyDeleteMismo
DeletePano mo nalaman na walang nagtatanong, kasama ka nya 24/7.
Deleteit's none of your business in the first place whether they're still married or not. she's entitled to what she can only share about her life.
Delete1208 gosh, echusera. Tawag nga sa atin here in fp Marites. Nakakaloka. Lol
DeleteWith the pandemic and all, nakakatakot magka baby idagdag pa na hindi pa healed ang inner trauma and ang daming cheaters ngayon.
ReplyDeleteThis
DeleteIm glad im in a country na being single or childless or old na are not an issue.
ReplyDeleteMahaba pa ang tatahakin ng mga Pilipino pagdating sa mga ganitong usapin, pero buti nagkakaroon na ng awareness, conversations, and hopefully acceptance ng society.
ReplyDeleteLife is short to the point na kulang ang lifetime na to sa mga pwede nating gawin. Di lang iisa ang path ng buhay ng tao (in this case, ng mga babae). HINDI IBANG TAO ang magdidikta sayo kung ano ang dapat mong gawin dahil MAGKAKAIBA TAYO ng priority, paniniwala at goals sa buhay. Sa mga taong namimilit, nangpe-pressure at nangmamaliit sa kapwa nila babae: Sa tingin mo, ang klase ng buhay mo ang standard ng lahat?
True! Parang mortal sin ang hindi pagiging ina o hindi magkaanak sa Pilipinas. Some would say a child is a blessing but they should also ask themselves if they are going to be a blessing to their future kids.
DeleteI don't wanna have kids cus I want FREEDOM: financial freedom and freedom to travel and do what I want. Kids are sticky and alagain. Not all woman are born to be mothers. I love my life and me and my partner decided to be child free... were here in Paris as I type this and I love this life.
ReplyDeleteBes you can still go to Paris with kids. Yang “kids are sticky” mga 4 years lang yan. You can have a career, have a house and keep house, with a baby. You can have it all. Wag gamiting excuse ang travel.
DeleteSame. I just want to be the rich and cool aunt na pa-travel travel lang. I do love kids but I don’t like the responsibility of raising them.
DeleteSame here babe! 10 years married na kami ni hubs and I love the freedom that we have! Speaking of Paris, I just came back to UK from there, amazing place and lovely people.
DeleteLol
DeleteI admire you for having a choice. Pero for me who has been trying but has not conceived, it was a choice not made available for me pero people kept asking kelan as if naman i have control. Sadt
Delete10:08 Eh sa ayaw nga nila magka-anak. Ang kulit mo. HINDI LAHAT GUSTO MAGKA ANAK. Respect that.
Delete1:03 I respect OPs personal choice. My point is you can still have financial freedom and all sorts of freedom with kids in tow. Hindi ball and chain ang mga bata.
Delete10:08 matres mo ba? ikaw bubuhay? bat intrimitida ka?
Delete10:08 Bakit ang pakielamera mo? Wag ka na mag explain jan, eh sa ayaw nga eh. Iba iba ng mindset ang tao, wag ipilit ang sayo. Mema ka lang eh.
DeleteSana sa lahat ng invasive questions pagisipan muna bago iask!!! Going to family parties is scary for me coz of these questions. "Kailan ka ikakasal? Wala ka nanamang boyfriend? Kailan ka magbababy?"
ReplyDeletePangsmall talk siya yes, pero traumatic siya sa receiving end. Pano kung kaya pala walang baby kasi di makabuo. Pano kung walang asawa kasi galing sa abusive relationship? Pano kung kaya walang boyfriend kasi may confidence issue? Or pano kung wala lahat kasi yun yung gusto niya? Yung paisa isang tanong minsan mapapalampas mo pa pero if paulit ulit na tapos gagawin ka pang katatawanan, it scars you.
Gurl/bro.... As a female who babysat 3 litte brothers, became our mother's "little helper," and the house's unofficial maid all before high school, SAME! I want freedom, all of it! I feel like I've had enough of doing childcare to last my whole life, i want to do other things naman. Most importantly, things for me me me. Myself alone. Gusto ko sarili ko lang iniisip ko for the forseable future.
DeleteMy go-to answer when being asked kung kelan ako mag-aasawa ay “matagal pa, nag-iipon pa po”. No follow up questions na after. Haha
DeletePwede din na sagot, “Ayaw ko po may kaagaw sa pera ko!”
DeleteTama. Nakakainis and walang modo yung mga ganyan. Tas sasabihin pa na mag.anak para may aalaga sa pagtanda. Aba! Insurance mo mga bata eh?
ReplyDeleteMali ang tanong dapat ms maxene kayo pa ba ni Rob.
ReplyDeletethis is none of your business too
DeleteNormalize being childfree!
ReplyDeletedami triggered. if ayaw nyo mag-anak eh di wag. just answer it plain & simple.
ReplyDelete8:48 snowflake generation, kung ayaw matanong wag pumunta sa mga family reunion. Wag magpakita.
Delete1:16 kaloka ka. Di ba dapat yung nagtatanong magbago? Imagine being the reason why another relative wont attend your family reunion
Delete8:48 wag kasi mamilit, kung gusto niyong gawing paanakan ang sarili niyo ng mga asawa niyo edi go wag na kayong mag recruit ng ayaw.
DeleteNot 1:16 pero sagutin ko yan 2:48. You can't change people, their mentality or yung insensitive questions nila. I found that out for years. Kaya ako na lang nag adjust. Pag Christmas or may reunion, my husband and I just go out, nood ng sine or just do something leisurely we both enjoy. Painful na yung questions like bakit wala kayong anak etc or yung kuwentuhan about kids, family life. Naisip ko, they can't help it kaya kami na lang nag adjust. We've suffered from infertility, gone into treatments that failed and no one seems to remember that kahit ilang beses pa naming ikuwento. It seems, they still find fault in us. As if we caused our own problem and they were wont to blame or find comparison. Anyways, fast forward, we finally had 2 kids. Eto naman ang sinasabi. Bakit normal ang mga anak mo, despite undergoing treatments while yung anak ni so and so, may diprensiya samantalang normal namang nagbuntis? Hayyysss.....as if we didn't deserve yung kids namin. So you see how toxic some people are including your own friends and family?
DeleteKadiri ung mga nag-comment sa taas na dapat daw mag-anak para may mag-aalaga pagtanda.
ReplyDeleteNakakaawa ang mga magiging anak nyo!! Balak nyo lang pala silang gawing mga alipin. May karapatan rin silang mabuhay, libutin ang mundo, at maging masaya.
Meron din nga ang sabi sayang naman pinundar mo, walang magmamana… baket, may charitable institutions naman ah.
DeleteAko nga may isang anak na hinde pa din tinitigilan ng tanong. Bkt isa lng anak mo? Bakiy hinde mo dagdagan? Kesyo daw malungkot, walang kapatid, spoiled..?eh ano gagawin ko isa lng lumabas??
ReplyDeleteTama naman! Hahaha may point ka
DeleteI can relate with her. Hindi kakulangan sa isang babae kung hindi sya magkaanak due to infertility issues man or personal choice. Nakatanggap din ako ng mga ganyang insensitive comment. At first, masakit. Pero habang tumatagal natuto na ako na imanage. I accepted that I can't control other people yet somehow I wish people can emphatize more.
ReplyDeleteIt s*cks to read comments above, na galing mismo sa mga kapwa babae mo. No one should be shame for HAVING KIDS and NOT HAVING KIDS. Yes, ladies. Please read that again.
ReplyDeleteAko naman I always get “Bakit Wala ka bf” “mahihirapan ka niyan pag makaanak ka” “Mahirap mag isa, kawawa ka”
ReplyDeleteI get this all the time. Especially now Malapit na pasko at may reunion.
Parang isip ko para ba ma complete ang isnag tao need ba maka anak? Need ba mag ka asawa or mag jowa?
Ito sakit ng mga Pilipino talaga Lahat na Lang pinapansin sayo. As in lahat. Sabihan ba naman ako kawawa ka mag isa ka niyan Wala mag aalaga sayo…
Diba? Nung sinabihan ako niyan ng tita ko “mahihirapan ka niyan Wala mag aalaga sayo”
Reply ko?
Ikaw tita sa pag tanda mo how sure you are aalagaan ka ng anak mo????
And how sure ang Tita mo na yung anak nya eh magaasawa din or magasawa kung magkaanak din, di ba?
DeleteSagot sa Tita mo - Tita, wag nyo na problemahin yan. Magkaka wrinkles ka lang kakaisip sa akin hahaha
Deletei love being alone. less gastos hahaha
Deleteuy akala ko non ako lng ang may gnyang issues samin. malala pa ksi kng kni knino ko nirereto na old but rich pra dw sure ang kinabuksan ko. sagot ko lng..tnk u for your concern tita pro sure nman ako sa kin but tingin ko mas compatible kung kyo ksi mas malapit ang age nyo..
DeleteSana din stop na ang drama sa socmed. Self inflicted pains. Hehe. Dedma kung dedma. Un na.
ReplyDeleteAko nga sinabihan Sana nag ampon ka na Lang kysa mag alaga ng aso. Wth hell diba? Eh gusto ko mag asawa problema mo ba? Ito nag papasaya sa akin at ito Meron ako malamang sa aso ko mag focus since Wala naman ako HUMAN na anak.
ReplyDeleteAhhhh! Mga pakielemera sa Buhay pag sila pake Alam mo galit na galit.
There is nothing wrong if wala ka asawa, wala ka anak, wala ka plano, and gusto mo lang ganito ka. Remember, you are enough.
ReplyDeletei am a single mom for 18 years. di na ako nag hanap i just travelled, shop, spa, work, relax, pray _ REPEAT
Deleteseriously pinoy needs to stop this mentality. masyado nating ninonormalize ang pagkakaroon ng anak considering 3rd world lang naman tayo. kita mo tuloy yung mga mahihirap sa lansangan isang kahig isang tuka marami pang anak. why just be thankful na yung mga ayaw eh hindi nakakadagdag sa overpopulation ng pinas. its kind of cliche pero totoo naman.
ReplyDeleteYup, mukhang gusto lang i marites yung status nilang mag asawa kaya kunwari anak isyu yung tinatanong. Ask na din mga baks. Tutal inivade niyo na privacy niya, itodo niyo na pag epal. Kahiya naman sa inyo :)
ReplyDeleteMaraming bagay na dapat iwasang itanong lalo na sa taong di mo naman ka-close. Tulad ng mga personal na bagay, like, anong trabaho mo, ilang taon ka na, may asawa ka na, ilan na anak mo. Ang taba mo. Nagmature hitsura mo etc.. Madalas itanong yan sa side ko na nasa low class, pero never sa side ng asawa ko na more on nasa middle class.
ReplyDeleteI was recently diagnosed with a medical condition na never na ako magkaka anak, I didn’t freeze my eggs before because having a child is a decision that needs to be made by the couple. I was not in a healthy relationship at that time and now I’m happily single.
ReplyDeleteI didn’t tell about it to all my family and friends kasi mas na stress ako sa kanila dealing with them kaysa sa idea na hindi na ako magkaka anak ever.
I still see adoption as an option if I ever I get married and my partner agrees to it. Sa tingin ko deserve ng bata to live in a good home.
i can relate sis..virtual hugs.
DeleteShucks, relate on the part na mas nakakastress pa dealing with people vs the actual issue. They say they just have your best interests in mind, but none of them are caring and attentive enough to actually know your interests. They just impose what they think is best for them. When I think of having kids, the homeless kids also come to mind. From an impersonal and big picture point of view, why make one when there's so many already available and they all deserve a good life.
DeleteThere are numerous of woman naman na di bet ang babies or di pa ready pero kapag nagkababy nagkakaron ng direksyon ang life for inspiration baga para kumayod. Depende kasi talaga yan sa sitwasyon. I respect girls na di bet mag baby pa and girls na gusto rin ng babies agad agad basta ba kaya buhayin. And also, i get her point dun sa triggering, in all aspects nakakatrigger talaga mga tanong na nakakapressure esp kapag may pinagdadaanan ka, yung tipong lakas makasira ng araw. Those insensitive people.
ReplyDelete