Mom of BSM Boy Who Committed Suicide Sends Letter to Co-Parents

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Dear BSM Parents,

The writer Cimamanda Adici warns against the danger of "the single story," of one story becoming "the only story."

My family and I are aware of the insinuations and veiled suggestions that are being made about my son Liam: that he was depressed, that he had mental illness, that he was troubled, that he had family problems. 

None of these are true. I am writing you tell you about Liam.

Liam is the fourth of six children. He grew up in a simple, loving home surrounded by books, an environment where hard work, politeness, kindness, honesty are valued. From a young age, he developed a love for literature, writing, movies, music and video games. 

Liam was very secure in himself, and felt no need to have to conform to peer pressure, to go out and party. He doted on his siblings. He reveled in simple joys, like the occasional haircut, Nutella, Reese's peanut butter cups, Cheezy chips. He never asked for much. He was never afraid to make fun of himself. He was an introvert like me, but talked with fiery passion about things he believed in and loved, like books and football, particularly Chelsea F.C.  

Late last year and early this year, Liam excitedly shared with me and my husband his plan to take a gap year, so that he could concentrate on school work and aim for good grades. During his gap year, he planned to work on university applications, to apply for scholarships, for internships with his best friend. 

In school, he had an easygoing way about him, he always had an easy smile. He had a shy and charming demeanor, and had many friends whom he loved to joke around and banter with. During the SLCs I attended, I saw how the teachers loved him and appreciated his hard work. 

On the morning of Thursday, February 5th, before going to school, Liam was his usual self. He had asked me to get him some facial cleanser and hair wax with the last of his Christmas money. 

It is a mother's gut feeling, that intutition unique to mothers, that told me that something gravely wrong happened while he was at school that Thursday. 

And so this is where I am---I have lost a gentle, beautiful boy so full of promise. I have many questions that are still unanswered, pieces I would like to put together to bring some semblance of peace and closure. It does take a village to raise a child. We choose schools in the hopes that the adults they spend a greater part of their day with will continue with the same nurturing we do at home.  

Liam's last encounter was with an adult, faculty, to whom I had entrusted his care. All I question is why that encounter had left him with feelings of hopelessness and humiliation. He brought home with him a disgraceful impression of himself that had such finality, that all he had built and hoped for were dashed to pieces.  

I also write you today to thank you for being with us during Liam's wake and funeral mass. I thank the Year 13s for the heartfelt memorial that they led. My family and I have no words to express our gratitude for the overflow of affection and overwhelming support from BSM parents, teachers and students.  

Liam is so loved. 

I ask for your prayers that the light of truth will give all of us peace. 

I end this letter with two articles of note. 

http://www.health.harvard.edu/ blog/suicide-often-not- preceded-by-warnings- 201209245331

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/ news/science/science-news/ 11413884/True-adulthood- doesnt-begin-until-age-25.html


Thank you for your time,

Trixie Heredia Madamba